Self love and self acceptance are the keys to self esteem. Our mental health comes from feeling good about ourselves, just the way we are. Please take a look at the thought patterns below and see which ones you are running. Remember not to beat yourself up about those on the "unhealthy" end of the continuum. Just notice it and acknowledge the areas you plan to make healthy changes in.

Unhealthy Thought Patterns

• I criticize myself for my imperfections
• I should...
• I am only good enough when...
• I hate myself because...
• I hate____ about myself.
• I fear...
• Life's unfair! Because of my past I...
• I feel guilty about...
• I don't deserve...
• I resent others because...

Do any of these thought patterns sound familiar? Thinking this way may come out of old habits or beliefs we acquired early in life. They may be family patterns that go way back! They may not make your life work the way you would like it to.

New Healthy Thought Patterns

• I am one of a kind unique and special and there will never be another just like me.
• There is no need to compare and compete.
• I am worthy just because I exist.
• I am going to love the child that is in me, just as s/he is.
• My body knows how to heal itself. I choose to focus my thoughts on being well.
I trust the process of life.
• I recognize and am grateful for the good in my life.

Learning to accept and love ourselves as we are is one of the keys to living Your Authentic Life!

If children have the crucial C's they have the following feeling and abilities:

I Connect: I feel secure. I can reach out and make friends.I Cooperate. I believe I belong.
I am Capable: I feel competent. I have self-control. I assume responsibility. I am self reliant. I believe I can do it.
I Count: I feel valuable. I matter. I contribute. I believe I can make a difference.
I have Courage: I feel hopeful. I am willing to try. I am resilient. I believe I can handle what comes.

Discouraged children feel insecure and isolated, may be susceptible to peer pressure. They may seek attention. These kids may feel inadequate, try to control others or avoid taking responsibility. They may seek power. Or, perhaps they feel insignificant and hurt so they try to hurt others. They may seek revenge. Others feel useless. They may give up or avoid.

To learn more about these ideas I recommend Lew and Bettner's book.
Or, If you would like to host a parenting class to study these or other parenting concepts, I am available or can arrange for a qualified teacher to work with you.

For those of you who missed my "Is It Magic Or Is It Logic?" call as well as those who asked for more details, here is a format for accessing early memories to learn about current situations:

• Jot down a current problem situation
• Find the emotion connected to it (feel it in your body)
• Allow a memory to surface, something specific (befor age 12)
• Write the memory out in detail noting your age
• How did you feel in the memory?
• What was the most vivid scene ?(underline or write it down)
• In the language of the age you were, what did you decide? *to find a decision, think about self, others, the world is...and look for symbolic or metaphorical language in the vivid scene
• Try a few different statements until one feels right in your gut (try saying them out loud)
• Imagine you have a magic wand. If you would like, change anything you choose in the memory, then see the changes in your mind. What feelings and decisions would have been like with these changes?

Now, go back to the original problem and see what the connection is. Apply what you have learned to approach the situation in a new way.

Limiting beliefs can keep us from acheiving our goals. Early recollections reflect an individual's opinion of self, others, life and the world and the path of behavior to avoid or select in order to best cope with life.

We can quickly see how our interpretation of the events, not the events themselves, formulated our "lifestyle" or manner of being in the world. Then we have the opportunity to take this conscious material and review or change it.

The subconscious mind is timeless. This makes our early experiences and decisions "feel" very current. The good part of this is, that we can rewrite the beliefs by imagining and feeling what we would have liked to be different and forming a new decision or belief.

Would you like to work with an early memory over the phone?
I now offer phone sessions by appointment. Sessions are available Monday through Thursday. I accept MasterCard and Visa as well as checks and Paypal. Geography need no longer limit your access to working with me!