"I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn."
--Melody Beattie

My friends and colleagues who have stayed in touch over the years know that I often "follow my nose" which is my quirky way of saying that I am always studying something new that magically shows up in my life and speaks to my heart and soul.

Last year I began immersing myself in learning about the "intelligence of the heart". What a fabulous journey this is turning out to be. There is so much to say about it that it may take me several issues. Here are a few interesting facts I have learned about the heart:

We now have scientific evidence about the heart that is surprising, yet rings true. How often we hear descriptive language that indicate that the heart is not just a pump moving blood through the body.
This is true across many cultures. The heart is in constant communciation with the brain and it is not just a receiver of messages from the brain. The heart has a brain of its own, which sends messages out. In the heart there is an organizing and central intelligence.
Unlike the brain in our heads, the brain in our hearts is "a high speed, intuitve source of wisdom and clear perceptions". It combines mental and emotional intelligence. I like to think of it this way:

The brain in our heads is "the brain in a box". It looks for patterns and it catalogues information to help us learn "the right way" to do things, to stay safe, to understand the way to "fit in" in a complex world.
Ah, but the brain in our hearts thinks outside the box. It can rise above chaos and look for new and different solutions. With heart intelligence, we access deep inner wisdom, balancing thoughts and emotions.
That's a mini description, I know. I hope it sparks your excitement like it did mine.
The best part is, that just about anyone can learn to make these tools work for them in a relatively short amount of time. And, the more we practice them, the more heart intelligence becomes our default mode.
I can't wait to tell you more about how easy this is and how it can reduce stress and bring on the JOY!

The HeartMath techniques and technology are being used in schools, clinics and hospitals across the country to teach people to reduce stress, fatigue, hypertension, and sleep problems as well as improving "emotional fitness". The research has led to the development of some fabulous programs that I am now teaching to my clients 1 to 1, in the office and over the phone.
I will be attending a special certification training this spring to deepen my ability to work with this fine system. I recommend "The Heartmath Solution" or "Transforming Anxiety" for starters.
These tools can be learned on your own, through the books and software, but working with a skilled practitioner can be the key to really making these tools a part of your life. If you would like to learn more, call me about attending a free informational meeting in Santa Rosa.

In my community, we recently lost another teen to suicide. He was a successful, well liked kid from a great family. We can only conjecture about what happens when a teen feels so overwhelmed that they take such drastic measures. We do the best we can as parents, friends and counselors to help kids through times that seem beyond what they can bear.

Do you know any teens who are less than thrilled about school? Sometimes, we are lucky and kids do tell us when they are unhappy. They may say it clearly or we may see it in the way they drag themselves through their week. Their eating habits or hygiene may change. They may have "health problems", anxiety or lethargy. I became an expert on this topic when I was in high school myself. For me, school was a miserable five days between the weekends, when I got to see my friends in a neighboring town. Back when I went to school my family had a "tough it out" attitude. If there were options, we didn't know about them.

Well, being a parent who believes in mutual respect and honest communication, this sort of bravery didn't work well for me. Thus began my role as a parent who suggested my son drop out of high school!

Yes, you heard me right. Don't delete this email yet, though.

I am a reputable therapist with Masters Degrees in Education and Counseling. I just knew and continue to trust that if a kid is miserable in school, there must be a way to help make things better for them.

For my oldest son, it was Unschooling. We undertook this courageous mode of schooling with a, now tattered, copy of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" by Grace Llewelyn. I am now embarking on a different version of independent learning for my younger son.

Each time it has been about honoring and guiding each teen toward finding meaningful ways of learning, appropriate programs and mentors, and support for doing things a little differently than their peers. It is all about raising happy, well educated, well adjusted kids. And isn't that what we wanted when we started out with these babes?

One of Llewelyn's main beliefs is that, given freedom to think for themselves, and time to recover from being constantly directed, teens will find (rediscover in some cases) their love for learning and the motivation to pursue their interests. As parents, we then support them by "doing with", researching, making opportunities available and being there when they want to talk or get some help.

This is not the best way for all kids, but it is a viable option. In my practice, I am graced with the opportunity to support teens and their parents in learning what options are available and how to pursue them. I can help parents through the uncomfortable times when they mistrust their decision or wonder if they are really helping their kids.

Here are some things to consider when exploring educational alternatives with your teen. Is your teen...

• Learning Different (diagnosed or not)
• Gifted in a particular area (academic or not)
• An entrepreneurial spirit
• In recovery from substance abuse
• actively abusing drugs or alcohol
• Socially motivated or socially isolated

These are just a few things to consider. In my community there are many options available through the school district for kids who need a change to their program. These include different career pathway options, independent study and concurrent enrollment at the junior college. There are also a variety of homeschooling options that don't require parents to be the teacher.

If you know of anyone who might benefit from a consultation on this topic, I would be happy to have a free, half hour informational interview with them by phone. Additional support is available in the form of educational information and facilitated family counseling sessions. I can also provide referrals for substance abuse testing, where appropriate.

One way to listen to your own innate wisdom is to use a divination deck.
Using cards or symbols to support us in meeting our goals or answering our questions-
"How does that work?"

Psychologist Diane Skafte explains it well in her book
Listening To The Oracle:.

"To receive an oracle is to receive guidance, knowledge, or illumination from a mysterious source beyond the personal self"

She goes on to say " One may imagine that oracles issue from a domain of the human psyche, or perhaps they exist independently from us, but their nature will always be a mystery."

I like to think of it this way:

An oracle is something you use to get answers from the “non ordinary world”, your higher self, connected to your God.There are many ways to look at it.

What is different about making your own oracle deck?

Rather than consult a Tarot or some such deck and getting meaning from reading a book entry about that card or a reading from someone who understands the cards well, you create your own personal symbology to work from.

When you make a deck for yourself, you make cards that have personal meaning from your life experiences, areas of dedication in your life, animals that have been important to you and more.

Recently, I consulted my deck before having dinner with an old friend. We had been estranged for two years. I wanted to have guidance on how best to approach the meeting- to be clear, not stuck in hurt. I pulled the card that represented my son's birth. I had a strong memory of my friend at my side for the whole birth, caring for me physically, selfless and present. It brought me to a place of peace beyond that which I had attained before. This was valuable guidance and allowed me to be very present and open for our time together.

I developed this workshop out of the powerful experiences I have had from making and using my own divination deck.

Michael Ortiz Hill, author, teacher and healer, developed the "amor fati" deck (translation: To love one's fate). This workshop adapts his teaching into an experiential workshop that will get you well on your way to making and using your personal deck. Follow up support will also be available in the form of individual appointments or group gatherings.

Join new and returning students for
7 information packed hours for $90*
(returning students receive discount)
DATE: Saturday, March 31st, 2007
TIME: 10AM to 5PM
LOCATION: Santa Rosa, CA
Register Now! *optional $15 materials packet may be ordered

My FINAL
6 Week Be Well Spoken Class

begins on Tuesday, March 27th.

If you would like to work on public speaking, authentic style, give me a call and we can do some coaching or sign you up for the workshop.
This is the only workshop scheduled for 2007. There's no time like the present!

Participants in my classes learn and make use of the following:

• Speaking your truth IS powerful
• You can use your feelings to enliven your talk
• Others want you to succceed
• You can change your subconscious thoughts
• speaking is about connection

• AND MORE!

Class meets for 6 two hour sessions including a graduation event and discounted individual sessions.
$240 per person.
Sign up with a friend and save 10%.
Register by March 21st and Receive an additional $15 off.

This is the final offering of this class. You won't want to miss it!

Who do you know who would love to read this issue (or a past issue)?
I would love to get Your Authentic Life out to them.
So, can you help me meet my goal of 1000 subscribers in 2007? Thanks for all you do!

• Forward this e mail to a friend and suggest they check out my archived articles
• Print my newsletter and post it on your bulletin board or in the break room at your office, barn, gym...
• send a brief note and the link to my web site with your personal recommendation for an article you liked

I now offer phone sessions by appointment. Sessions are available Monday through Thursday. I accept MasterCard and Visa as well as checks and Paypal. Geography need no longer limit your access to working with me!

I have supported women on their unique journeys to create a feminine spiritual path that they can resonate with. I offer individual support and consultation for those on an unfolding spiritual path. Presentations, groups, workshops and ritual making are all available to those who feel curious or called to honor the feminine in their lives.

All Articles Copyrighted by Laurie Stolmaker, MA, MFT 2005-2007
Laurie Sequana Stolmaker is an experience therapist and seminar leader. She authors the monthly online newsletter, Your Authentic Life!. If you are ready to have more fun, rekindle your joy, and make a life of love and success, subscribe by going to www.joyinside.net.
You are welcome to reprint articles in their entirety, as long as you also include this copyright notice.