• Visualize the outcome you want in vivid detail
• Focus on that outcome in your mind
• Make a collage to connect the image in both hemispheres of your brain
• Return to the desire daily, imagining and stating that it is already so
• Express gratitude that it is so

I was doing all of that, and getting results in many areas. In fact, I got my home that way, a place beyond my wildest dreams.
(Next time, I will skip the "fixer-upper" pictures!)

The missing part for me was Positive Emotion. Even when I thought I was enjoying positive feelings along with my vision, I was also really feeling the LACK of what I wanted. One way of imagining what this is like is if you are in your car with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. What kind of forward movement would you experience? Jerky? Stop and Start? Not going anywhere? Clearly, it would be better to take that foot off the brakes.

So, I started identifying when I was focused on what I don't want, instead of what I do want. Then I checked in with my emotions. Were they hanging out in hopeless, doubtful or discouraged? If so, I found some thoughts that gave me a little sense of relief. I kept going until I could really feel those feelings of joy associated with my wanting.
To eliminate any subconscious sabotage, I added a PSYCH-K ^TM balance for the belief:
I maintain focus, positive emotion and gratitude along with my wanting.

Viola! I now had the missing piece that I needed; Today, my subconscious mind is on board with my desire. If I am thinking about what I want, while feeling the lack of it, my subconscious perks up and reminds me to add gratitude and positive emotion and to maintain my focus there. This makes it all so much more fun and potent!

If you would like to learn more about this process, I recommend the books by Esther and Jerry Hicks, especially The Amazing Power of Emotion. To learn more about PSYCH-K^TM, read some of my back issues, (especially, July 2006) or give me a call.

AND... have a Happy Gratitude Day, however you celebrate it!

Not so obvious, is when we tell our child "apologize to Suzie", when we never admit to being at fault and haven't even checked in to see if there is a more meaningful way to intervene.
I was visiting a friend when our boys were small. The neighbors' child hit one of the other children and I watched as his father showed up from next door and dragged his son home, spanking him as he yelled "We Don't Hit!". What's wrong with this picture?
What message do you think this child will be getting at a deep level?
This dad was doing the best he knew how. If only he could have seen himself! I am sure he would have realized that he was modeling the very behavior he wanted to prevent in his child.

Often we try to control our children, especially when others are watching or might judge us as bad parents:
Our child is handed a gift
"What do we say?" we chirrup
"Thank-you." Our child dutifully responds.
What if we model the behaviors we want to see?
Young children are watching us and modeling their behavior after ours. Older kids are also carefully observing our behavior. They may not change theirs to match our expectations, but they are taking it all in and making decisions about who they want to become.

This holiday season, ask yourself " am I modeling the behavior I want to see in those around me?"
If there is room for improvement, let your loved ones know what behaviors you are working on changing. Here are some examples to get you started thinking:
"I am working on remembering to say please and thank you to you more. Will you gently remind me when I forget?"
"I notice that I raise my voice when I get agitated. I have a goal of being more respectful when I speak. Could you let me know when I could turn the volume down a little. I respond well to humor."

When we take responsibility for our own behavior, our kids are watching and learning. Give it a try... And as always, I would love to hear from you about your results.